Black Sabbath - "The Eternal Idol" (LP Review)

Yesterday I was texting with Scott about "Family Favorites", a bonus EP of covers from Entombed and the subject eventually turned to different versions of Black Sabbath, where we both agreed that "Vol. 4" is probably our favorite LP, and both Ozzy Sabbath and Dio Sabbath are great, but we treat them like separate bands and don't compare between them.  I even stated that I'm a big fan of Gillan Sabbath (Scott may have agreed on that, it's not clear), but certainly "Born Again" should be enjoyed separately and not compared with the Ozzy or Dio.  Although we did not discuss it last night, I've stated before that I even kind of liked "Seventh Star", mostly because I appreciate Glenn Hughes's bluesy vocals. 

This discussion made me recall that my interest in Black Sabbath came to an abrupt end with 1987's "The Eternal Idol".  I still have the vinyl packed away somewhere, one of the last vinyl LPs I ever bought new.  If I remember correctly, I bought it in my freshman year of college and I'm pretty sure I haven't listened to it since.  Clearly I didn't like it, but I couldn't quite remember why.

I've since read that Tony Martin-led era of Black Sabbath (of which "The Eternal Idol" was the first LP) has developed a cult following.  Had I missed something?  My interest in metal was waning in college, so perhaps I did not give it a fair listen?

With that in mind, today I re-listened to the LP (via YouTube -- I did not dig up my vinyl) for the first time in ~30 years, and the verdict is... it's awful.  Tony Martin is not a good singer, he's not even interestingly bad: he's just bland, generic, and would be right at home at your local bar in a Queensryche cover band.  There are spots where Tony Iommi's playing still shines through, but the vocals (and the simplistic lyrics) sometimes make it difficult to even locate, much less enjoy, Iommi.

The next LP in the Tony Martin era, "Headless Cross", receives a lot of praise but I'm in no hurry to listen to it.  In 2010, the demo version of this LP with Ray Gillen singing was released, and after a few spot checks Ray might be a bit better than Tony Martin, but not enough to matter.  Neither Gillen nor Martin bring an interesting vocal interpretation like Ozzy, Dio, Gillan, or even Hughes.  The most interesting part of the LP is the cover, with a live model reenactment of Rodin's sculpture "The Eternal Idol" (for which the models were both hospitalized because the bronze paint was toxic; further expanding the suffering caused by this LP).

Standout songs: "Scarlet Pimpernel" (it's an instrumental)

Songs that appear: "The Eternal Idol" (this would be vastly better as an instrumental)

Skip 'em songs: the rest (full LP playlist).

Final score: 3/10.  Maybe I'll revisit it again in another 30 years.

The Beach Boys - "Wild Honey" (LP Review)

Like most people, my knowledge of The Beach Boys ceases from about 1967 (resulting from the whole "Smile" / "Smiley Smile" debacle) until their emergence in the 1980s as a nostalgia act.  Doing some detailed reading in their discography reveals they continued to release LPs pretty regularly until about 1980.  The reviews of some of those LPs are pretty good (corresponding to the ascendancy of Carl Wilson within the band's hierarchy): Allmusic gives 1967's "Wild Honey" 4/5 stars, 1968's "Friends" also gets 4/5 stars, 3.5/5 stars for 1969's "20/20", 4.5/5 stars for 1970's "Sunflower" (it also made Rolling Stone's "500 Greatest LPs of All Times"), and finally 4/5 stars for 1971's "Surf's Up".  That's a pretty strong showing for five LPs, with only 1969's "Do It Again" as the only song from this period that most people will recognize. 

So it was with some anticipation that I looked forward to hearing "Wild Honey", which in 2001 was appended to "Smiley Smile" and various contemporary outtakes for a bonus CD.  Had I just received a forgotten gem from this unexplored portion of their discography? 

No.  No, I had not.

I can't speak for the other LPs listed above, but "Wild Honey" is a really bad LP and no amount of nostalgic revisionism can change that.  The title track is mildly interesting, sounding like Stevie Wonder with a theremin, but I think it stands out only because the rest of the soul-inspired songs fall flatter than does "Wild Honey".  "Darlin'" pauses the Stevie Wonder theft long enough to steal from the Four Seasons.  The best two tracks are 1) "Country Air" which although written for this LP would sound at home on "Smile" or "Pet Sounds", and 2) "Mama Says", a reworking of the acapella  break from "Vegetables" (left off "Smiley Smile" but present on "Smile"). 

The double CD is worth getting, but adjust your expectations for "Wild Honey".  The Beach Boys excursion to Motown has as much skill and authenticity as Robert Van Winkle brought to rap some 22 years later... 

Standout songs: "Country Air", "Mama Says"

Songs that appear: "Wild Honey" (live 1972), "Darlin'"

Skip 'em songs: the rest.

Final score: 3/10. 

Liz Phair - "Liz Phair" (LP Review)

Danette has accused me of being too generous in my reviews, but I think I'm just reviewing my favorite stuff first. But just to be fair, I'll review something that's really, really bad: Liz Phair's fourth LP, 2003's self-titled "Liz Phair".

OK, so that's cheating a bit -- everyone knows this is a terrible LP. Liz Phair hit the scene in 1993 with "Exile in Guyville" and it was a critical blockbuster. Everybody loved Liz: the sexy, brash, irreverent, pottymouthed girl-next-door. The critics loved her so much, in fact, they could never quite forgive her for not continually re-releasing "Exile in Guyville". The analogy to M. Night Shyamalan is obvious.

But in 2003, she hit rock bottom. Eager to trade in her indie cred for something more tangible (she warned us, see: 1998's "Shitloads of Money"), she enlisted the production team The Matrix and strived to write more commercial songs. Not coincidentally, "Liz Phair" was the first LP to not feature re-recorded songs from her early Girly Sound demo tapes. The result is that she ended up imitating her imitators -- she became a 36 year-old Avril Lavigne. She simultaneously failed to gain significant cross over success and yet still managed to alienate her indie fan base. Where her earlier LPs were clever/funny/shocking, "Liz Phair" is stale/calculating/hollow. As David St. Hubbins tells us: "It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever."

The result was scathing reviews that were more clever than the LP itself: the NY Times called it "Liz Phair's Exile in Avril-ville" and Pitchfork Media gave it a 0.0. Ouch. On a 10 point scale, that's like going to 11 the bad way. I tried to think of my own witticism for this review, but the best I could come up with was a couple of Spinal Tap retreads. If she mailed it in, so will I.

I will say that I actually like the songs "Extraordinary" and "Why Can't I?". And I'm further ashamed to say those are two of the four songs that she co-wrote with The Matrix. Since The Matrix only contributed to four songs, two of which I actually like, I have to conclude that Liz bears most of the blame for this LP, where the other 12 songs vary between "bland" and "awful". I could call them out one by one, but what's the point? The less said about them the better. Finally, the video for "Why Can't I?" is terribly clever -- a must see, slightly anachronistic homage to CD jukeboxes and 1960s-era cover art.

Standout songs: "Extraordinary" (different version, from the movie "Raising Helen"), "Why Can't I?"

Skip 'em songs: all of the others. really.

Final score: 3/10. Tough love.

Weird Bonus Link: A video (from spinner.com) that appears to be an apology for the LP, conflating The Matrix production team and the film The Matrix. Maybe it seemed funny on paper, but it just makes things worse.